school is alright this pass few days.yeah very cold even if there was a sun.wind just blew and you can shiver.i am starting to lke rain!hahah he have quite a nice voice hahaha blah now i can sleep for a veryyy loonnnggg time.yeah i jus sleep for 6 to 11 den i woke up jus to bath den i sleep again!ahahah.nnthing much to blog this few days.when somthing intersting happend den then i will blog :D I CHNAGE TO BETA ALREADY.

TOWNING LAST FRIDAY

ayrton ex gf doline?omg i cant believe that he have a bad taste lar! that slut HAHAHA if i dint talk to alvin i would have taken her face!hahah but talking to alvin is better OH ayrton now i have somthing to mock you when i see you again!i will see you again you neo printer fan

2nd feb ahahahaa yeah i know i am still not sure but i told him i will go.if the tix is nice that mean hahaha the party will be nice too. i heard alot of acsi?and his friends are not hot lar.but still he call them hot?HAHAHA yeah.maybe i will go in fbt and pe shirt!HAHAHAH no lar!a time to dress up been buying clothes but havent even wear them lar.hahahaa YEAH!and i really need a hair cut but i am jus too lazy. can a "pro"help me cut it again!HAHAHA
blah getting my new lappy today! :D WHEES! going to go pick it later on
cant feel much better! LOVES LOVES LOVES

scoccer today singapore and malayisa today
i jus feel plain lazy to do alot of thing!
dad have tickets but i am lazy
stupid stadium will be jam pack!
and all i can is little humans passing a tiny ball!HAHAHA

Stop thinking that dying will help. Stop eating those pills. I don’t want to remind myself down the road that my friends die jus cos she wanted to die.
Really I must say that I once thought that, once I die everything will be alright. Getting sick and hoping me nvr got better. Refusing to eat those entire pills. And my slashing day hoping it will get deeper and deeper
But then I see the really life. There are people who are suffering just to live.don't you see that people in Africa who have HIV are fighting strong just to live. They don’t deserve to get that sickness cos some of them are not their fault. People who have cancer go for treatment just to live to too. it is not that they want to have cancer too you know .everyday people fight hard just to live and now you just want to take your life away.don't be foolish alright .don’t think dying is a easy way out. It is not trust me. Keep holding on.


For once I thought I would never let it go and yest show how much I can’t let it go. I am saying something and doing another different thing. I don’t know Okie for once I will let all it go everything. I don’t wan to keep on waiting to something that maybe nvr happend.i'll have to stop hurting myself and keep thinking otherwise. This will be my last time on how I feel.

You use to be there when I need you
I love having you as my pillar
I thought I found my oasis
Maybe I use to be special in your eyes
But now I am just a soul lingering
As I grasp our picture in my hand
I saw you as you walk pass by me
Without a glance you jus walk away
With out a goodbye
I don’t wan to question you anymore
I’ll cut it up hoping you will paste it back
But as for now all I am left is our memories
Thank you for everything

argh my hair look more $^%#62$%@#
i think it look nice frm far but when i come close it look lke!^%&&*%5
i wan to go chnage it but i am too lazy to go to the saloon i wan go facial too!
but mahera too lazy too do all of this!

shit my ear got Swollen again it hurts i hope it get better cos i know going to a club means loud music.hahaha i agree to go when he talk to me!oh fuck wat am i think!i think he is having a crash on dear!
jus now class ermm boring mrs tey dint came so mr chong too over!the teacher with no feeling okie we dont know his feeling!when he talk we have no idea if he is happy sad exicted?hahaha one look!HAHAHAH can decribed it

cikgue noridee ask me go cut my hair again lar!on tuesday due to my side ahahaha i say okie lar i will use my 5 bucks to good use to have the hair cut i really NEEDED!ah hahhaha

den had prodots did nnthing time managment?i dunnoe i guess wat he say was true i need to spend my time wisely!i think coach shawn has a feeling lke a girl!we are lke her girlfriends where you can gossip with everyday!HAHAHA i really think so!i think he look shorter!

hahaha den had common test.i have no idea wat i worte lar.craps.waited for chloe den half way my batt die out no more hp cos lost contant of her so went back home!hahhaha so i blog since i did not blog yest!going to sleep i think den hw and studying time!hahahaha
maybe i wont blog for a week lar.i am lazy already.

oh i saw larry on the way to kap!HAHAHA JUS MY LUCK!

the school freaking cut my hair!they cut alot lar.
stupid jean tan!i hope you rot in hell lar.
in the morning at the parade ground
got check den that ms yati ask me pin my hair
was all pin up when a bitch pass my class and see all of the commotion
ms yati:make sure you pin up your hair
me:okie okie
jean tan: dont be rude and jus say okie okie
me: stare
jean tan:is this your first warning?
ms yati:no i told her a few time
jean tan walks away
me:fuck lar!
why can ms yati and shook her head i know she cannot lie lar but she can say nnthing wat
ms yait was behind me and jean tan walks and she came back
told prefects bring me cut my hair
i was so piss i nearly cry
so walk behind she scold me somemore
say dont drag shoe and tie my shoe lace and dont be rude
wats her problem lar if i wand drag my shoe and spoilt it aslo MY SHOE WAT AND IF SHE DONT LKE MY SHOE LACE TO HELL WITH HER, I DONT LKE HER SKIRT CAN I CUT IT ANNOT?
so piss out already lar den ask prefect bring me cut my hair go canteen to 'register' myself.otw there prefect say my hair is okie lar!i was piss with that jean tan when i know my hair is okie already.

in the toilet fie fie? was the first one cut her hair wah!i nvr see so one so excited to cut her hair!she say i dunnoe lar!
i was at the end wanting to cry my lungs out lar a few was in front of me i was 2nd last.i cry at that corner.den at last i let them cut i say lar want to cut,cut lar!
but i keep on moving about!den they threaten me call that mr anthoney to cut my hair?i was so piss i wanted to say ask that old man cut my hair also no diffrence same wat
so cikgu noridee ask the cutter to cut it shorter the mly women was nice lar only that norride was being a $^$%^#.den i was having a so fcuked up face lar i cried wat.
ms noridee:be more positive mahera
ms ramlah:yar lar mahera be lke fie fie
me:SIMLE SO WIDELY
give money to baldive
me:thank you for the nice hair cut that i needed so badly i really appreciate it.thank you -bowing so low.can i go back to my class?smile lke there is no tmr!
ms noridee/ms ramlah:nodding smiling so widely!
haia i wont take pic till my hair grow longer lar!so my blog wont have a pic of me until i think my own hair is nice!this will be the only piss
thanks to eveyone who say it is nice :D i love all of you
my mom laugh at me lar!but she say i can go and change it
i am so piss that i wanted to cry lar!

burst my ear drums already!might need see specialist.if not i will be one side deaf!.oh gawd for 2 weeks cant put anything at my ear lar!cant hear loud stuff.wth wth

dint go school today.my first time not going to school today mom told me tis will be the last!hahaha i will get sick one de!hahaha :D if anyone receive a msg at 1 am frm me hahaha i cant slp and my stomach hurt lar.i dunnoe now i have a feeling of regret not going to school today cos hahahaha :D :D . i bet they are having ms ramalah or yati lesson.going to the doctor soon to see my ear or maybe at 2 ?!den maybe going town?i dunnoe yeah dint go there for lke a few days already?hahahah so dint get to sleep yest cos my stomach hurts!tmr is spot check hahahahah


i dunnoe if he go blog hopping but here this
you are lke the worst stead ever
i dont judge but everyone knows it
i dunnoe the whloe story yet
but dont you think that is was bad enough that you went to your ex bestfriend jiemei somemore
how you treated her?
how you make her feel?
i know you suck can already

i saw bridget party pic.wat did i did to deserve this?getting deaf?getting sick?i now get it when ppl say eveything cannot buy with money.wat the use if i have thousand of dollars and i still feel very sick of it.i mean the feeling of it is not there.i feel empty. hais i wan to cry lar!i jus wan to know wat i did to deserve all this bull!i wan be lke my cousin have wife have car have home and never forget thier parent and still can take me out shopping and stuff.i still cant hear.is anyone there?


for once i thought i was in cloud 9.
for once i thought i was a real person.
for once i thought this was real.
for once i thought this would last forever.
for once i thought i had the perfect life.
for once i nvr thought it would jus come crashing down.

shopping is depressing
where did that women go??
got back home with a deaf ear again.went out to dinner i will go eat swensen eveyday of my life!i dont get it how come i cant hear anymore? i can hear when i am in my cousin car?den all of a sudden i cant hear anymore?will i really turn half deaf.it scared to bits.going to see that doctor tmr so might not be going school.hahaha blah nnthing much already.

maybe when i lose one thing i gain more ?
who knows?

candy coated goodbye
ahahah i am really turning deaf
i feel it is worst then yest
it hurt lke ^%#*$*#& much!
cant go to bridget party sorry
cant go out with town with chloe sorry
i can nvr buy a flower and keep it alive for lke days!
now i know wat i want to be a florist!

a new lappy in a few day time!ear is effing pain!i wan to cry till it bleed i want get better i wan go out :D chloe told me somthing amazing??hahah nope very funny!okie should i go?hahaha maybe i will get to see his gf!haahaha

sick right now unluckiest girl ever today!receive loads of stuff thank you nehs
now my ear is hurting really bad!i cried in school cos the band that play for assembely was making errm not so jazz music dint really enjoy it cos it hurt really bad.i was covering up my ear.and i am down with fever so they are really clever switch on aircorn.my jackeet is to cover my ear so i kind of freeze.i dunnoe why i aslo cry today.now i realise why ppl ask me not to get sick.after school went to the clinic i was the first paitent there!hahaha den the counter ask for my dad!den the doctor say that my ear got infected and it got swollen.have to take pain killers and no watercan go throught m ear cos it will be more painfully.that means no swimming no blasting off the comp.now i can eat okie at least a little bit.it hurt to the max.need to go there on tuesday to check it again!it really hurt that i cry.den went back home sleep thought out the whole day.okie the entire day i sleep even at class cos i dint not feel too good!den chloe left to go bell party and i head home and sleep.now i know how much it hurt.really bad!i have to stay on strong i wont fall .i guess he dont even care.wat the use of all of this.
hope that i would get better then i can go town tmr :D hahaha but i will be lke half deaf.the doctor say if i dont get better tat means they have to cut something.i am so scared lke shit.i wont cry anymore i iwll stay on strong.i guess you will nvr care.i all alone and i am scared.someone save me pls .i guess i cant pierced tounge due to this all cos it affect my tounge too.

i love everyone :D

argh i think i am down with fever.i have super pain ear lar.it feel lke i peirce.i still can hear propely on the left.and it is very painful i cry cos it hurt so much.i forget to buy barn yard sunflowers for them sorry i forget to buy it i try get them after school or on monday alright .today was one hell of a day.i feel lke i was going to jus faint.ct i really thought i was.english paper was done with my eyes half open.dint even understand that passsage.dots was errm i dunnoe hahaha nice lame waste 2 period he was that coach when i saw at the hike place there ahhahs! he can remeber me cos i crap about somthing i can remember now with him at that hill!tat why!oh now i rememeber when i hurt my arm he went to me!i ask for his name can pronounce it lar!hahaha that why i think!blah it was fun.den went back home with chyna.got scolded frm mr anthony for hugging nat on the way down to the office!hhahah but when he scold us we laugh lke crap!den saw nad the all and alyssa!manage to talk to eveyone today :D.den went back home with chyna!hahaha den in the bus saw hafiz with gf!haha she is ermm lke lian but he look so mature already.and of course i saw that short guy!hahaha!yeha den talk to remy on the phone reach back home and sleep till lke 8 sorry barn yard!

i love everyone :D i am still crying cos it hurt so much my ear that is.

cca fair was horrible cos i dont have a cca i miss all those shouting this year!hais laugh till so horrible wit chloe jus now after looking at some pic!hahaha omg it is really darn!i mean look so darn funny!hais!blah blah been a while since i say my gay friend!and alot of ppl!realise this been going town non stop for 3 days lar!where is my displine?i pon tuttion alot of time.i guess it is time to stop and get and hit my books!oh i saw coach shawn/shane?at school jus now.omg it remind me of alot of stuff.camps,the lesson and how ppl go gaga over the white coach shawn/shane?very funny lar.hahaha how other class hate us cos we got tat coach?hahaha yeah but i prefer the not white one !hahaha i wan him teach our class prodots cos it will be lke last year!we shall pretand tat we study while we talk about crap all the way!haha i wan coach gilyian to come back too (: i need to choose lappy or dance school!oh dear i lazy msg you O school price is the same as tat one we wan join and plus there is more dance can choose.and not only dancing lar!i think there is more lke beatboxing and stuff can you go check tat webbie can?

just got back home frm town.lesson was nice.got alot happend i am too tired to type it down since i am really tired.
shopping can be derpessing
i cant run anymore
i hate my stomach
i need more sleep
i am very tired
high class after school oh i know wat i wan to blog already chloe will hate me if i blog about this
personally i think i am fat(why do you think i dont eat?)okie so she saw a really nice shirt at revoltage it was nice.so ask tat guy some colour and stuff.i wanted to buy it too another colour though but i think tat guy dint not know lar.so chloe ask for m.there was a m and a s on the table.the guy say this, after much crapping which one is nicer and the size.the guy say this to me and chloe.why not chloe take m i take s! we dint say anything.i dint want to buy it first cos i bought a dress already.hahahah buying it on friday though.dont want to have same clothes as chloe but he really flatter me lar!so keep teasing chloe about tat size matter she got depress!hahaha yeah but chloe is not fat to me lar!stupid dumd guy but i will buy the shirt as it really flatter me !hahah den got a nice lecturing frm her mom aunty and warsi about not eating and stuff!paiseh wat!hahaha den shop and shop lazy blog lar tired can!

i will fly to the moon!sunflowers on friday hahaha! :D oh i wand rainhahahaahah umkono kasomshe manehrs?=i dunnoe hahahhaa

remove my stupid darn cbox :D you know who to thank :D will put it up when i am feeling less depress!shit my phone got something wrong!hais i wan thorw it at the drain lar.blah jus got home frm town.vivo is so dumd!hahahah it rain when chloe and me walk at the walk pavement blah!after school went mac with ama den meet yasmin atiqah they all!hahahha den chloe came after tat they go for dance!oh you know i need get cca after being ccaless so wat happend is tat my cikgu noridee ask me and you know wat she say to me.later faint how?it is under the hot sun somemore outdoor lar!she really giving me support lar!recess was going around finding for atlas?hahaha went high and low finding for it.den mrs tay dont need use hahaha and she call me nad lar!reason we are besttie and she get confuse?hahaha nice one.den ms ramalah took down my name!hahaha hair must be neat tmr or she will show no mercy and bring me go cut my hair!a big day for me tmr!cut cut den skirt use my old uniform lar !so troublesome dont wan take tat thing off or paste green paper! hahahaha den at mac they all went and chloe came!went back mac!stupid mac driver ask me dumd question!i am malay lar!cant be bother!den at there with charlean!so talk about hip hop crew and old school!maybe going there!hahaha yeah with my dear lar.but i finding for old school i wan go since i heard it is really good!hahahaha den you know wat happend!i swing my phone to a girl lar dunnoe frm wat school hit her mouth and the WHLOE ACS BARKER GUYS LAUGH LAR AT HER LAR! STUPID HEARTLESS PPL!NO FEELING ONE I SWEAR TAT I YOU ALL WILL JUS BURNTT AND BE DEAD!!(no offence to ppl frm there i know you are nice) !!omg i feel so bad for her she got swing frm my hp and laugh!i wanted to die lar!and she had a stupid bf who lke hack care.if tat happend with a lian i swear tat i will get kill by her bf lar.acs ppl should get burn with fire!den hit town lar! out stomach was a real pain lar!i keep getting tat same pain at that spot lar!wat happeing to me lar!den i cry at far east!ahahahha at tat lemon drink stall there oh did i told you i meet gloria?and tat bitch hahahha alyssa!yeah when me and chloe wanted to go watch a movie i wan be 16 den can go watch a lot of movie!ghahahahaaaa den meet tat bitch den i scold $^%$&# in public lar!shit man it was so loud outside cine somemore!hahahah den she threw orange jucie at me lar!go rot bitch!but you know i still love you!hahahaha den frm there went find shorts every single short look horrible or our stomach jus hurt so need to walk!ppl think we are crazy!hugging while walking?hahahah den went tangs and stuff so sian so went back home.at train sing till got action it been stuck at my head!to the left2 eveything you own is to the left in the closet pls dont touch!hahahah yeah balhh hahahah denn hahahah i threw it away

jus got back home :D a long mrt ride make me think a lot of stuff!a lot i tell you and it start with this how i alwalys wan a person with a lot of money to be my husband and he must be a old guy too!hahaha yeah it was so dumd lar but now kind to think of it nope my new list of wat is important :D

1) my family
2) my health
3) my friends
4) study
5)my stuff(hp,mp3 and those stuff)
and last will be money.

mrt ride was so funny saw alot of ppl with lappy!and one watching anime somemore! so dumd den somemore hair looks lke bengs den socks look lke my dad wearing socks tat high high one!so funny!i tear on the train!
yea yea thought about wat i spoke with chloe den eveything dont make sence i really hate eveyrthing.i hate eveything i feel so weak.i hate putting a stupid brave front when i am not. i smile and it dont mean anything.i been doing stuff tat dont mean anything.i am so sick of crying i wan tell someone how i feel but it seem very hard cos i am always in self-denial.i tend to say something i mean and do another thing i dont mean.i suck i know but i jus cant help it. i try i really try very hard but i jus dont work.i stop being so emo already.i tried being happy i can go town and run freely but it jus feel empty.'wat the point of living' quote frm a taxi uncle.

stupid shit ppl add me in msn!got rot lar!happy talking to yourself!

so bored and bored!aunty dint call me so am i still going out with her?cos if not i will bored to death.but if she is not den i will stay at home.hhhhhahahahahahahaha :D nnthing much to blog.i think i am going on a diet i wont eat for a week starting frm nxt week.woots i wan get my tounge pierced.tat i cant wait.i wan numbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb everythingggg.hahahaha ohhhhhhhh good luck my crazy friend for tat football trial out later.tat is so cool if you are going to join a club but life will be very busy for you larrr.hahaha
danggggg i wan go sleep againn

i love you
hahahahaaaaaa

OMG OMG OMG !haha
it stinks!hahahaha




jus got back home frm dear place.there slack.den gay friend came
dear i miss you lke #%$^ @%&3! :(
shanee i need pass you your longggggggggggggg lost pressent lar!can you jus come and take it frm me?
jarel wth dont wan come meet me anymore nvr see you in the moring anymore ass lar wake up early can?
oh caleb is in indo already he wont come back till i dunnoe when.
now i have an empty inbox NO MORE 600 MSG :D yeah NNTHING!EVEN MY SEND ITEM so can anyone msg me :D even crap stuff yeah :D
going to do class deco ORANGE!AND LIMEGREEN!


haaaahhhhHhhahahahhahhhhahanhhhhhhhsahhahahahahahahh

It has been so long since we have touched

I hope that things are still the same

Hoping they will never change

Cause what we had can't be replaced

Don't let our memories fade away

Keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe that I could do almost anything

You stood right by me through the tears, through everything
I'll remember youAnd baby that's forever true

You're the one that I'll always miss

Never thought it would feel like this

I'll be there for you no matter what you're going throughIn my heart you'll always be

Forever baby I'll remember you
I promise you I won't forget the times we shared

The tears we criedYou'll always be the sun in my sky

It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday

Even though we go separate ways

You made me believe that I could do almost anything

You stood right by me through the tears, through everything
I'll remember you

And baby that's forever true

You're the one that I'll always miss

Never thought it would feel like this

I'll be there for you no matter what you're going throughIn my heart you'll always be

Forever baby I'll remember you
If the day should come when you need someone

You know that I'll followI will be there

Don't ever let there be a doubt in your mind

Cause I'll remember you, you
I'll remember you

And baby that's forever true

You're the one that I'll always miss

Never thought it would feel like this

I'll be there for you no matter what you're going through

In my heart you'll always be

Forever baby I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

i dont even think you care
i am being bloody miserable alone
not looking forward to anything this month
i drown in my own tears
i fucking hell hate eveything
can i get vodka+pandol and jus forget eveything?

the world is black?
a walk to remember. go watch it at youtube it is really nice.it make me cry and think over stuff wont say anymore :)
ms yati scold me in the morning?some teachers been complaing about me and stuff.and she say i look bored when they teach!i mean how you excpet me to look when teacher teach smile lke crazy ah?i jus get sleepy and wan to hit the pillow.blah and my messy hair teacher say remove the pin frm my hair?i do pin it up lar.wat the problem lar.but ms yati is too nice to me,scold me but it look sound lke she is asking me not to be 'bored'in class and stuff.so i will not abuse it cos i dont wan her to become unnice.hahaha blah another day of school.it might not feel long but sometime it feel forever.saw some acsi ppl.i think sec 1 on the way back home and i think they are really short ppl it is not one i see it is lke more then a couple already.hahaha cute lar.
i will stop pouring out my hearts anymore cos it is no use already lar
go and die lar!hahaha blah!where is my bitch lar?dear i wan a complain call lar!for the last time den it is over!i will stop being dump lar.i will burn the thing !!

GOOD CHARLOTTE LYRICS

"The Truth"


So here we are
We are alone
There’s weight on your mind
I wanna know
The truth
If this is how you feel
Say it to me
If this was ever real

I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
[x2]

I want the truth

So this is you
You're talking to me
You found a million ways to let me down
So I’m not hurt when you’re not around
I was blind
But now I see
This is how you feel
Just say it to me
If this was ever real

I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
[x2]

I know that this will break me
I know that this might make me cry
You gotta say what’s on your mind, on your mind
I know that this will hurt me
And break my heart and soul inside
But I don’t wanna live this lie

I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts
I don’t care no more, no
Just give me the truth
Give me the truth
'Cause I don’t care no more
Give me the truth
'Cause I don’t care no more, no
Just give me the truth
Give me the truth
Give me the truth
Give me the truth
Give me the truth
'Cause I don’t care no more, no

school was alright.take weight and height!haha i grew i am 1.59 cm!actually the same lar.cos i sort of lifted my legs.i lose weight despite skipping my meals after eating lke mad during my depress days during the holiday!i dint even go out and run and stuff maybe going out eveyday help lar.but i still think i am still fat.i need lose weight lar.mr lim darn naggy keep telling the same thing 3 thing already.laugh cos he keep saying crap lar.den had lesson and stuff.going poff for bed and den tuttion =D


one day and i miss you so much already

__~`will you just turn and walk away?



___& towning =D
__#ahem cap!blah bored in class!

__# emotionally drain out

;rejection only made me stronger

is appendix painful?haha i dunnoe.mom taking me go check up and stuff darn scared.blah school was as pernormal and stuff.ms yati will go bring me cut my hair tmr lar! teachers can remeber my name!hahaha i am so proud lar!but ms yati in another way!blah hahaha den after school went town.took neos and stuff den i went meet chloe.saw alvin.i thought he not schooling anymore.he becoming more beng lar.den went around town slack bought stuff and everything!hahah shopping and i feel so depress!hahha blah i wan try play dota.but i know nnthing about it!hahha someone help me explain how to buy or download that thing.

hahah i am so happy for my brother lar!hahah

effing bored dint go out.blah talk with dear on the phone till 2 i think?hahaha i think we still are in holiday mood.i wan to draw but i cant find my olddd pencil sharpner to sharp my oh so blant pencil..hahahah dont wan use mechanical pencil.blah.i am boredddd i havent go out for 2 days already and my other class will only start lke next week blahh.i am boreddd!

hahaha i am not proud of this but my crash seem to how to draw and i will start to draw:D but he delete me off friendster!hhaha i wan go nafa if he is going nafa :D hahah 'it only take two finger on how to draw' quote from my crash
my forever love :D crash!

A COLD WAR HUH?
AND I PRETTY MUCH HATE ALL THIS
i dont wan to numb myself again
more food for 3 days this time




all i wanted was for you to be there for me.
i guess all this were fantasy


head hurts lke mad
i guess it is lack of sleep
eveytime i close my eyes i fear for the worst
i am even seeing stuff from my eyes
i fear tat i wont see tomorrow
i fear tat i will really lose you
i fear tat this will be a end of everything.

first day of school









caleb tay!!











the day you went awayyy